We can either take a step forward or take a step back. Even if we think we are choosing to just stay right where we are, this stagnancy is preventing us from taking that step forward and it essentially becomes a step back. We are either contributing to our relationship or taking away from it. We are either showing our love and thoughtfulness or missing this opportunity. When we really understand this and figure out how to live this truth, our struggles and suffering in our relationships can be turned into opportunities for growth and deeper connection.
Every moment is a choice.
But how do we do this?
It takes intentionality and consistency, time and energy. It takes deliberate and thoughtful action, careful and heartfelt words, soulful listening for the purpose of hearing our partner’s heart and learning to hear our own as well. When we do this, we can see that we are on the same team and we have the same goal – to be connected, to know and be known, to hear and be heard, to see and be seen, to love and be loved. As complicated and difficult as this may seem, it is a skill that can be learned and it actually takes much less work, time, and effort than our constant struggles are already stealing from us.
How can we thrive together with ease and simplicity and truly live the love we desire?
I can help you get there.
Couples in Recovery
Have you been struggling to reconnect after struggling with addiction?
Is addiction a part of your story?
Are you grateful for your life in sobriety but confused and discouraged about the ongoing relationship struggles?
I know the feeling. I’ve been there and I can help you find the way to the love you long for.
Life in recovery after struggling with an addiction carries its own struggles, but love after addiction carries its own struggles as well. Just when you thought sobriety would be the answer to your relationship problems, you realize those problems are not disappearing… they are just changing. Maybe they are even getting bigger! This dynamic requires some extra patience, understanding, gentleness, and perseverance. Maybe we need to walk through some things together and heal some old wounds. Maybe we need to be open to writing a whole new love story. Maybe it’s a combination of both! Everyone’s journey is unique, but I can help you to find your way and walk the road together with open hearts.
Are you ready to try something new?
Loving as God Loves
“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.” (I John 4:7 NAB)
Our faith in God is not just a part of us. A life of faith integrates all that we are and all that we do into the truth that we are made by Love and for Love as a child of God. Faith is the window through which we look at life and all that fills it – our relationships, our work, our struggles, our joys, everything!
So what does this mean for me and my relationship?
The world tells us that it’s all about me, it’s about my happiness, it’s about my journey. Our faith tells us that it’s about being a gift to others, blessing others, serving others, sacrificing for others. When we do this together, as a couple, through serving and blessing each other, we grow in virtue and we become a better version of ourselves. We become who God made us to be!
But HOW do we do it???
Contact me to learn more!
Let all you do be done in love.
– 1 Corinthians 16:14
My name is Juanita Pfaff. I am the Founder of Crossroads Couples Coaching and a certified relationship coach through the Center for Thriving Relationships. I am a wife of 15 years, mom of 7 children, co-owner of our family’s small business, teacher of our homeschool, and homemaker. I wear many hats, but all of them fall under the umbrella of relationships. As far back as I can remember, I have been interested in communication and language. This interest evolved over time as I pursued higher education and worked in various jobs and positions, but I eventually learned that this interest was about my passion for building, maintaining, and growing relationships at its core.
I have bachelor’s degrees in Catholic Studies and in Spanish from the University of St. Thomas in Houston, Texas. I also have a master’s degree in Spanish from the University of New Mexico. Throughout my education, learning how to build and grow relationships has been my passion, as my faith, culture and language are built on, around, and through relationships.
Being a wife of 15 years, we have our own history with our share of trials and suffering as well. My husband struggled with addiction during our marriage, but he has been sober for years now and I am so proud of him and grateful for the lessons this journey has taught us! But with this celebration comes the realization that we lost time together during the time that the addiction separated us. We lost opportunities to grow and mature in our love. But it wasn’t too late for us!
And it’s not too late for you.
I specialize in helping couples recovering from the disconnect and brokenness caused by addictions to heal from the past and create a thriving relationship through my coaching services. If you’re struggling to communicate openly and intimately, to connect tenderly, to rebuild your relationship after past hurts have caused so much suffering, to feel close and connected, I am here to help you.